i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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