just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize