but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
