We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
