I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
