The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
