Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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