do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
