Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
