I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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