every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
