he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize