Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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