he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
