i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He? As in you personified your dick?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
