Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
