You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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