if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Your penis caused this!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
