They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
