was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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