Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
either way he was missing a nipple.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
