On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
