Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Thank you for not boning my boss.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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