cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
