I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
