I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize