last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize