my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
