Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
