do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
