I am spending my child support on dildos
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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