i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize