maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize