How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
