For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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