playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
