You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
