Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
