when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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