He is an equal opportunity slut.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
