so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
