singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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