Barsexuality is the new black.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
