Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
