i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
True college students do jello shots in the library
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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