Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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