Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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