hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
