I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
