Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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