I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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