Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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