he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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