i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
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I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
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my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize