"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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